by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service
![Do all things with kindness quote](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201024%20410'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
“Well, now that you have been on the job, let’s see…6 months, what do you think?” Laura asked Susan, the newcomer to the senior living community food service team.
“Do you have an hour? I have lots to say for an answer.” Susan replied in a joking manner.
“I’m listening and curious.” Laura knew Susan came to the community soon after she graduated high school and had never been in the workforce.
“First of all, I thought having a job was all about getting a paycheck and how I could spend it. Wow! That is way down the list below of the things I didn’t know.
Our training sessions taught me important everyday ways of work that I never learned in my business course in school. The first up is working smarter with intention using the new skills I’m learning. I had no idea how much there was to serve a meal. It is so much more than I expected. I practice each new skill as shown to me so it will come naturally in time. Wow. Who knew?”
Laura grinned, encouraging her. “I still learn from our training meetings. It keeps my skills fresh, so I’m happy you appreciate them.”
“Oh, I do! My first day on the job serving meals made me aware of the difference between the older generation and the physical issues they have to contend with. At the same, I noted incidents I faced in high school, like bullying. Some elders are darlings that I loved immediately. I practice being extra kind, knowing they may struggle with something I don’t yet understand. But I’m committed and determined to help overcome loneliness and the complications of aging. I’m learning. It doesn’t always come naturally. My coworkers help and are kind to me too. They advise me when they notice I need it and include me so I feel like I belong even though I am the youngest and the new kid on the block.
“COVID hit my high school friends hard, though we are all technologically savvy,” Susan continued. “Knowing about isolation and knowing it is much harder for seniors is constantly on my mind when serving. I chat and ask questions to build a connection, as was taught in the training curriculum. I rely on that curriculum. It reminds me why I want kindness to be a way of life for me. Already, kindness comes naturally.”
Kind Dining ® curriculum is for all employees, not only the newly hired. Kindness is core to their training of skills necessary to be a community seniors choose as their home. It is a new way of life and a challenge for them, leaving behind a home that was familiar and dear to them.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Kindness is core to learning basic skills.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service
![senior woman alone looking sad at a window](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20534'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
What are the toughest problems older adults face in their communities today?
It isn’t the lack of a swimming pool or a 5-star restaurant.
Loneliness and isolation are at the top of the list. They are two challenges that became prevalent during the coronavirus pandemic and remain within many senior and assisted living communities.
The huge loss of family members and dear friends hangs heavily on elderly shoulders. But, these dilemmas can be met and reduced by training your food serving team and employees about kindness and friendliness.
Knowing how to approach older adults with these skills and adding care to that list is not a talent one is born with. It is a learned skill.
Once your team becomes aware of this resolution and practices being amiable, it can spread to include not only residents but also coworkers and administration. Needless to say, adopting these kindness-based skills will improve their personal lives outside of the working day.
Friendliness goes in hand with kindness. Adding these skills to your training and practice sessions is imperative.
The newly learned skills will set the ambiance in any dining room. It will create warmth to the table, reminiscent of the dining room in the home they left behind.
In turn, this improves their nutrition and becomes a connection of healthcare to hospitality, harmony, and happiness. All of these words lead to the word ‘care.’
It’s what is desired most in Long Term Care and assisted living communities. Allow your employees to care about their work, the residents they serve, the team they work with, and the company they work for. Let them commit. Once employees incorporate these assets from your training and discussion meetings, they will form a desired way of life.
Kind Dining® curriculum is uniquely designed to improve the lives of those working and living in senior and assisted care communities.
Hospitality is a universal language and core to skills necessary to your food serving staff.
Remember that your dining service is central to the success of your community. Kind Dining® training guides your food servers into being your company’s most valuable asset.
A few important facts to remember for now and the future are: mealtimes market your community, residents spend 60% of their day focused on mealtimes, investing in your employees is the effective path to culture change, the organization’s success, and kindness is a healthy habit.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Remember that kindness is a healthy habit!
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership
![Multi-Ethnic Group Of People Holding The Word Welcome](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20500%20295'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
I am delighted when friends of mine, knowing my passion for my work, bring personal stories and feedback to me from the retirement and assisted living industry. This is another recent one that reinforces the importance of my beliefs in the training curriculum I’ve created.
She began to tell me, “I was enjoying my visit with Ellie as five of us sat around the lunch table chatting about the ups and downs of our lives. We were stunned and speechless when the newest and youngest addition to the group said, ‘I have a hard time believing this is my last home.’ All eyes were on her, and I’m afraid my mouth was wide open.
She appeared to be 65 and had only recently moved in when her husband entered the Alzheimer’s unit in the next building. She moved into a 3-bedroom apartment on the fifth floor.
Four of the others, now in their 70s and 80s, had lived here between 6 and 15 years. Ellie was now in her third year and loved it from the day she moved in.
One of the ladies, a quick thinker, said, ‘I remember thinking that when I first moved here. I left my friends behind, and my family wasn’t coming to see me daily. I knew no one.
That all changed with the help of our dynamite staff! They introduced me to others they thought I would fit with and went out of their way to chat in the hallways when we met. They also asked brief questions, which people ask when they get to know you. It didn’t take long before I was raising my hand in greeting. Of course, I have my favorites, just like I have favorite nieces and nephews. You’ll see. It will come.”
Another of the ladies followed up with: “I hope you noticed how friendly the staff is to all of us. If you aren’t standoffish, and I know you aren’t, they are the first to make you feel at home. When you know them by name and a little about them, they become what I call – your in-house family. Familiar. Like your favorite pair of comfortable shoes.” She laughed at her joke.
Ellie said, “We promptly became your friends when Sylvia brought you to our table. She knew instinctively to bring you to us. Soon you will find more. Plus, when you fall into the routines and join the activities you like, you will feel more at ease. The staff will help you.”
Kind Dining® knows and teaches how the staff can be your community’s best asset. Using our training curriculum, they will learn how to incorporate small acts of kindness into their daily routine. One of those kindnesses is helping a new resident feel at home.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: It is easy to feel at home when surrounded by friends at the dining table.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service
![Support, portrait and nurse with a senior woman on a sofa in the living room of a nursing home. Healthcare, wellness and caregiver embracing an elderly female pensioner at retirement house or clinic Kind Dining Training](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20534'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Moving into a new home can be strange and difficult for anyone at any time.
Making your last move into a senior living community, knowing it is the last time you will change your residence, can be unsettling. This change in a new resident’s life can be scary, especially if they are stepping into a place where they know no one.
Your staff has the power to make new residents feel comfortable and at home with the many ways that the Kind Dining ® training curriculum prepares them for that very task.
Your food serving staff will immediately recognize new faces entering the dining room. Leading them to a table they know are friendly residents who will welcome newcomers and making introductions is a huge step in getting new folks settled in.
Offering a friendly greeting and a few words of welcome goes a long way with a person walking into a dining room with unfamiliar faces. It is a small kindness that has huge and happy results. It is also important to extend that friendliness when meeting new residents in the hallways.
Learn names and use them as often as possible. It helps people feel they belong when they hear their name spoken. Sharing a word or a pleasant greeting invites a person to respond kindly and increases their sense of security. It is the beginning of a conversation, and conversation leads to a feeling of ease, comfort, and familiarity.
Kind Dining® training educates your staff by giving them the knowledge to use in their daily actions of serving older adults.
It instills confidence they use to create a culture of belonging for new and all seniors in their community and develop that sense of belonging for themselves.
It develops the incentive to stay with a company that values them highly enough to invest in extended education, honing their skills, and the confidence in knowing the organization appreciates their work.
This confidence works and is a way to welcome new residents, to dissolve any feelings of isolation or the discomfort of moving into a new home.
Your staff can make people content knowing they chose the right senior living community to spend the last chapter of their lives.
Making new residents feel at home is the best possible bit of thoughtfulness they can do.
Kind Dining® training helps to reduce burn-out by helping people learn new skills, gain confidence, and value in what they do. They learn to manage their behavior and instill accountability.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Your staff can help create the feeling of home for new residents.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service, Retain Staff
![Two chefs](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20533'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Many friendships are formed and carried through long periods over the lunch/dinner table. ‘Let’s meet for lunch’ is a common phrase that indicates wanting to spend some time with a friend.
It’s nice to have lunch served to you but it’s the friendship that is the magnet. Even casual friendships are important to us. To share a meal with a friend, or potential friend, is a bonding moment. To hold business meetings over lunch forms friendships that break down barriers and continue to work long after the meal is finished and the table is cleared.
Forming friendships on the job is a vital part of having a smoother workday. We all know there are days when everything goes wrong.
Now picture going to that friend at work who is the very one to help you solve a problem and put you back on track. Friends who have been on the job years longer than you, can give you tips on how to do your work easier, with intention.
Sometimes a friend is like having an extra pair of hands. On the other hand, it is just as gratifying when you can be the friend to help your coworker. There is a particular feeling of attachment in your gut when you have extended yourself to help another.
There is a spring in your step as you prepare to go to work because you know you will see friends to greet you, exchange the latest news, and bring you up to date on any events.
Having kindness about you is beneficial when working in a senior or assisted living where you will be helping residents in one way or another. That same kind of attitude is an invitation to your coworkers for friendship. You all share the same work reality and that is powerful in forming friendships on the job.
It is easier to understand a dilemma that arises and discussing it is uncomplicated when you know you are all immersed in the same field. That also applies when you want to share happy news or accomplishments.
Who could better share the joy than someone who knows the situation? Your coworkers seek the same goals you do for the residents. When issues are shared it builds a better working relationship.
Unexpected friendships in the community create strength and a positive growth of self.
Kind Dining® training sessions open the doors for these friendships to form. Discussion and alliance as a team at work are encouraged.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Friendships with coworkers create strength and a positive growth of self.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging
![Smiling elder lady with blanket and glasses listening to her nurse reading a book during free time](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20533'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
After an exchange of comments about friendships in today’s world, this true story came to me:
“UPS in my neck of the woods, otherwise called a neighborhood, many of us have formed an unusual friendship . . with the UPS driver! He is so friendly, considerate, and kind that even though we only know his first name, we all consider him a friend.
Many of us meet for lunch at the local café on Main Street in town. We learned that the UPS guy has lunch there every Friday. To show our appreciation, one of my group of friends occasionally pre-pays for his lunch. The lunch prices run fairly close so it is easy to just cover a general cost, including a tip. He never knows which one of us does it.
It is funny, whenever I see the brown UPS truck coming up a street I’m driving on, I wave. I have no idea if it is my delivery man or not. It doesn’t make any difference. I’ve never met a grouchy UPS delivery person wearing the familiar brown uniform, yet they always cheerfully wave back! I wonder if they are hired for their smile instead of physical capability.”
Friendships in senior and assisted living communities affect everyone touched by friendship without even realizing how. When a food serving team member brings a tray to a resident’s room, carrying a smile, a happy comment like ‘Guess what good news I have for you today’ or a question like ‘Tell me how you are doing today’ the server is inviting the resident to respond with a pleasant comment. The room becomes light-hearted. Encouragement is introduced and no one even notices what is happening. The server is guiding the resident to enjoy the experience. This is a casual, but powerful, friendship at work.
This exchange of casual friendship can grow into much more. There can be trading of conversation that uncovers the background of one or the other learning about a culture unfamiliar to them. This opens the mind to a wider scope. It also builds trust between residents and staff members as it builds respect, one for the other. It works.
Friendships between coworkers are also a step in building a stronger foundation for the company. Friends help and support each other making their lives better. In Kind Dining® training sessions, follow-up practices and discussions of friendships will reinforce the training sessions. Friends enjoy each other’s company and sharing their experiences both on and off the job is part of that friendship.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Friendships on the job can change the way you look at your work.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service
![Senior woman in eyeglasses and her blonde daughter chatting by served festive table during family dinner](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20533'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Joyce was talking on the phone with her long-time and long-distance friend David. He lives in the northeast, and she lives in the southeast in the same town as his mother. They grew up together, and though they married and had lived far apart, they always remained devoted friends by computer or telephone.
“I couldn’t keep flying down to check on Mom every month and worry the rest of the month about how she was handling being in a wheelchair at home. I was terrified she would tumble out of it and not be able to get up. Her friend Paula stopped in every week, but though I was grateful, Mom needed more supervision than that.
I finally convinced Mom to come to live in an assisted living community near me. I now visit as often as I wish and feel much better knowing she is getting the attention she needs and deserves. And by the way, she loves it!
She had all the wrong ideas of what assisted living is in reality. There were too many old, out-worn ideas rolling around in her head. She knows better now, though.”
Joyce, who often volunteers to work with seniors who need help, replied with a question. “What do you think has impacted her new life the most?”
“Believe it. She has become a social butterfly! She has met like-minded friends who share her passions, especially reading, word puzzles, cards, and board games. The computer was her only companion before. Her new group eats together nearly every day.
Any signs of depression have disappeared completely. It always concerned me that she was alone too much before she came north. With the help of the dietitian, she has lost 40 lbs. in a healthy manner and can now walk short distances. Her arthritis seems to bother her much less, and her breathing has improved. One of her particular friends is a charming gent who is by her side often. ” David’s smile could be heard through the cell phone.
Surveys have revealed that the social environment benefits the lives of older adults. Socially sharing meals with neighbors with the same interests develops a support network. This aids in living a satisfied life. It creates the feeling of home in the assisted living community.
Kind Dining® training curriculum teaches staff how to draw residents into the conversation, build the basis for relationships, and connect with residents. The knowledgeable staff knows active seniors will bypass depression by having sharper minds in friendship exchanges.
Elders who intellectually engage in mental stimulation with others lessen their risk of dementia. Daily or even weekly, sharing the comfort of the dining table provides necessary social interaction.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Do your food servers use conversation to encourage elders?
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service
![Three Adult Women Friends Relaxing at the Living Area Laughing Together While Looking at their Old Photos in an Album.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20533'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Healthy people who enjoy living solo know when it is time to be social and mix with friends.
Living in a senior living community makes it easy.
All a resident needs to do is step outside their apartment home and head for the dining room or to a planned activity event. The dining room is the central location for socializing on most residents’ days. It’s where they meet to talk about which events they plan to attend and discuss their hobbies and interests. It is a good place to discover others who share the same pleasures. It is also where the food serving team can assist residents in finding like-minded people to share a table with.
Any member of the staff is happy to suggest or guide someone who is new to the community or anyone who is naturally shy. Excellent training and practice enable a staff member the confidence needed to reach out to a community resident.
Surveys reveal that socially active older adults enhance their health benefits and are generally happier than those who spend too much time alone.
Choosing to become acquainted with others by joining a table at mealtime is effortless. A food server learns in training and discussion sessions how to help a new resident find the table best suited.
The ideal assisted living community staff members have adopted a friendly persona as a way of life, so it is easy to encourage residents to be social by suggesting various activities. Many of these activities are offered to appeal to those without the physical strength to participate. There are board games, card games, Bingo, book discussion groups, sewing, knitting, singing, music, coloring, painting, and movie nights. Participating in these recreations will dissolve loneliness and improve a person’s reticence. Meeting someone who enjoys the same events will create group friendships and a network of support key to well-being. It also increases the feeling of home.
Friendships play a vital role in buffering against negative effects of general health, dark moods, physical functioning, and aging. Intellectually engaged, mentally stimulated residents hold less risk of developing dementia when they participate in activities daily or at least weekly. They form self-identity and a sense of belonging. Family members can relax during visits, knowing their mom or dad is receiving care when they need it. Their anxiety can disappear, and they can enjoy the visit with peace of mind.
Kind Dining ® training modules, now available online, teach the food serving staff in communities new ways to further the dining experience for residents. Staff will learn to work to build a better food serving team and explore the science and psychology of dining hours.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Does your staff understand the complexities of assisted living single residents?
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Regulations and Standards
![elder lady sitting on a bench outside alone](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20536'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
“Whenever I am filling out forms and asked if I live alone, I always fill in the blank space with ‘Yes’, and somewhere near it, I write ‘by choice’. The form taker always asks what I mean. I explain that I like to be alone. It is solitude after years of too many people around me. To be alone does not mean that one is lonely. Too often, people confuse that fact. I am a people person who loves solitude. When I need companionship, I know where and who to go visit.”
A friend was repeating the conversation about an application form she received with that comment on it. Since it struck her as unusual, she brought it to the attention of a colleague for discussion.
Loneliness has been a severe problem everywhere during the pandemic but has eased up some since the waning of isolation restrictions. For some older adults, loneliness comes from losing friends and/or family to the coronavirus.
Loneliness is devastating. It lowers the resistance of immunity to illness, declines cognitive ability, and increases high blood pressure, heart disease, and obesity. It is known to increase depression. It attacks the physical, mental, and emotional health.
Loneliness remains a problem in many senior living and assisted living communities. It is a target for employees of those communities to notice and help eradicate it.
Employees who have benefitted from excellent training practices extend friendliness to all residents and coworkers. Though, it calls for more effort than a friendly ‘hello’. Show sincere interest in a lonely resident and maintain a running conversation with them. It helps. Encourage them to partake in activities you describe as lively and amusing. Introducing them directly to other residents you know will extend kindness and caring.
Social isolation crept into all aspects of senior living and LTC communities.
The training and practice meetings share examples of dissolving loneliness when spotted. This also refers to coworkers. They, too, were affected by the devastation the pandemic left behind.
Cultivate and seek social connections during your work day. Friendships are a cure for loneliness. Cross-generational interactions are excellent for defraying feelings of being unnoticed or unwanted. Social connections are key factors in warding off depression and dementia.
Kind Dining ® curriculum was designed because we care. We believe developing and expanding the skills of your staff are signs that the organization is investing in them. This investment works to reduce the epidemic of loneliness, isolation, and feelings of not truly belonging. The training and practice instill compassion and provide a true quality of life for your residents.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Loneliness attacks physical, mental, and emotional health.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service
![close-up portrait of a senior man thinking about something](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20554'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
There are no reasons to be lonely when you live in an Independent or Assisted Living community. Yet many residents have become lonely despite being closely surrounded by others in their age range and various life-enrichment activities to appeal to their interests.
Losing friends and family during the recent pandemic has impacted many, allowing a feeling of isolation to settle in. It is difficult to overcome that feeling for some, even though an extended sense of loneliness can cause a higher stress hormone cortisol, depression, and social anxiety.
When food servers notice an elder showing signs of loneliness, they may mention in conversation how becoming a volunteer for a community event is a great way to meet new friends without the awkwardness of stepping into a circle of strangers. Just increasing their social activities is a step toward decreasing isolated feelings. Getting to know their neighbors will boost their morale.
Living a stress-free lifestyle is offered in senior care communities to encourage healthy living and wellness by providing social opportunities. It also allows residents to stay independent in a safe, friendly environment.
Some residents need a little nudge from a familiar staff member whose advice they respect. Staying active lessens loneliness and the risk of Alzheimer’s and increases happy contentment. It’s easier to start a conversation while strolling onsite pathways around the community, sitting next to someone at an outdoor concert, or saying ‘hello’ to a dog walker.
Let it be known that friendships formed become chosen families.
The dining room or café is the most popular spot for social engagements. Mealtimes are much more than only eating good food. It’s a social experience that provides an easy opportunity to introduce oneself to new people. Making connections can be assisted by caring, helpful food servers. They can sometimes guide a fresh resident to a group that welcomes newcomers. It’s great to plan a day over coffee in the morning and share the resulting experience over dinner that evening.
More attention is now being paid to the loneliness residents are experiencing in the aftermath of the coronavirus.
Kind Dining® has been aware of the situation and designed a training curriculum to teach your staff how to respond and improve life with skill and caring. We have created this curriculum for the culture of belonging, with ongoing, continual learning through training for your staff, from which they also benefit. It gives them an incentive to stay with your company because they get to work at an organization that places value on them. They achieve the true quality of life for residents, quality of work for staff, and quality of success for the Senior Living Marketplace. Complete success lies in intentionally focusing on the older generation led by kind dining and civility.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Excellent training and practice eradicate ignorance in your staff.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service, Retain Staff
![Group of people assembling jigsaw puzzle and represent team support and help concept Kind Dining Training](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20534'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
“I know many people, women in particular, will stay home with a salad in front of them rather than eat in a restaurant alone. I am not one of those people. I love it because I hear the best stories by listening in on what is being said around me.” A writer friend told me this recently.
She is a strongly independent woman who also travels alone, apparently for the same reason. She goes to talk with strangers who teach her about their surroundings. This is the base for several of her stories. Many of those are about travel. She does this because she is a writer. When she wants to relax and just be herself, she gathers friends around her table and begins by pouring the wine.
As my writer friend knows, most people are not comfortable eating alone. The pleasure for them is sharing a meal and socializing with long-time friends and finding new ones. This is especially true in retirement and assisted care dining. Making the decision to move into a Senior Care community is a major change in a person’s life. Often the decision comes at an emotional time, after losing a life partner or an oncoming physical disability.
It is a time to be welcomed into a new, friendly social group. It is not a time to be lonely. The food serving team can help in a great way by doing small things. Start with a big smile and sincere greeting. Offer to introduce them to a table or group you know will invite them in. Senior and LTC communities are great places to spend time with people who share the same discussion subjects as you enjoy. It can be a carefree lifestyle designed for people of a certain age. I repeatedly hear “It’s the best decision I ever made!”
All throughout history it is reported that gathering around the warmth of a dining table is a way of getting to know another, build a relationship, even a job interview is often performed over the lunch table. Therefore, Kind Dining® believes it is essentially significant to build a powerful food serving team.
Our curriculum encourages adopting a culture of belonging, a training benefit to staff as incentive to belong to their community because their organization places value in who they are and the work they do. The same organization is investing skill development that works to reduce the epidemic of loneliness, isolation and instills a sense of belonging. A team who trains together creates unity and builds that same sense of belonging.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Encourage your residents to share the joy of the dining table with new residents.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service
![Person helps people join and solve bridge puzzle](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20450'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Some of the best information comes to me from friends overhearing conversations at lunchtime in restaurants.
This conversation came to me from a friend:
“When are they going to understand that I am not my grandmother? I am their grandmother. I am different and experience life differently. They cannot assume I will think like others my age just because I am that age. I still think for myself and make my own choices. That is important to me. It was my choice to relocate my home base to a Senior Living Community because I am independent and demand I am treated so by everyone, family, friend, colleague, and staff member.”
Her dining companion quickly replied, “Which, by the way, I have introduced politeness and kindness to a food server recently. I reminded her of that very same idea. I am to be treated with respect and friendliness, and then we will get along just fine. I reminded her that the white hair on my head was not an indication of a grey brain. I’m still an individual, thinking my way. We may enjoy some interesting conversations ahead of us. She seems intelligent enough, just was not taught good manners.”
Both staff and residents have experienced incivility in their daily routines. Not all elderly people are the same, a fact that needs to be recognized by food serving staff. Life in senior communities does not need to suffer these awkward moments when a resident corrects the poor manners of a food server which may cause feelings of resentment. Training teaches how vital the dining experience is to every resident and each food server, including caregiving staff. When performed correctly and with joy, mealtimes are appreciated by all. It is an uplifting happening.
My hospitality background set the tone for the Kind Dining® training curriculum. It introduces interpersonal and technical skills that improve our communities and help to build relationships. The inclusion of staff serving meals, from all departments, in this training is vital. We also address emotional control tools and help your food serving team to become more engaged in self-improvement on their way to becoming highly valued employees by the company.
Kind Dining® training series shows commitment to helping those who want to succeed, discover a new sense of belonging and a meaning for their work, and feel passionate about their work.
Learn how Kind Dining® training can transform the dining experience in your community here.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Older people in your community do not have the same expectations.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service, Retain Staff
![Human pyramid paper doll people](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20800%20533'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
The human emotion of that “sense of belonging” does not fade away after graduating high school, raising a family, and/or fulfilling a career. It remains with us as long as we breathe. As many seniors choose to shed household ownership responsibilities to live in a senior living community, they will look for the one place that says, “I belong here.” A major vibe they absorb as they visit your community for the first time is the sense of your staff feeling as if they belong. Those vibes emanate from the relationship employees have with each other and their relationship with the residents they serve. A staff that is well trained to work as a team and knows the importance of performing as a team will exhibit that sense of belonging naturally. This team completely accepts and respects each other, willing to jump in to gladly help when needed and without waiting to be asked. It’s a team whose individuals are alert, aware, and committed.
Once team members develop these qualities through training curriculum and practice, each member’s behavior, attitude, and belief will alter to conform to the team’s goals. If their work began as an unskilled job, the influence of team education, adding skills learned, will guide them to work with intention. As their work performance improves and progresses, they will experience a sense of belonging. This feeling is what employees rely on to commit to their organization for the long term.
That sense of belonging with residents encourages them to join in the various social activities, appear at events, and stop at a table during lunchtime to chat with others. Knowing you belong builds self-confidence and a sense of security. It even extends to welcoming new residents, showing that you chose the right community; you belong there and are a contented, happy resident. Living where you belong dissolves anxiety, depression, and loneliness. It supports excellent physical and mental health.
Kind Dining ® designed its’ training curriculum and hands-on exercises, knowing that it is in the organization’s best interest to ensure a well-trained staff. The results are employees confident to see their work as a ‘calling’ and to know it as a way of life. They take pride in their efforts to do a little bit more to make life better for residents and coworkers.
Kind Dining® nourishes a desire in participants to continue honing their skills, expanding their education, and securing their sense of belonging.
Learn how Kind Dining® Training can transform the dining experience in your community here.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Residents need to feel they belong in your community.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service
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Assisted Living and Long Term Care communities may have different regulations than Senior Independent Living communities but many similar responsibilities make one community stand out from its neighbor. It’s a time when those regulations and also policies are updated to match the intelligence and needs of today’s residents. The same approach stands for senior independent living communities. An ongoing discussion with suggestions and notations from the employees who are involved with challenges daily is encouraged to bring possible problems to the awareness of all. A problem anticipated can easily be averted.
Providers as well as employees can improve routines of responsibilities with empowerment to correct shortcomings.
Outdated rules and regulations can only drag a community to inadequacy if they are required to wait for outside government surveyors (a short-staffed field) to fix problems the company can do with integrity and experience.
Kind Dining♥ suggests this is an area that can be improved by holding scheduled training and meetings for discussion by anticipating areas that can be improved within the company employees.
While senior independent living communities are a relatively new industry, the underinvested nursing homes now must find a way to upgrade to assisted and long-term living, and memory loss centers. Introducing a new quality care system would be ideal, created from those within the industry who already are direct care staff.
These guidelines would come out of the training and education meetings where the participants are there to ever improve the situation of the individuals they tend to. Many who work in the personal care industry consider their work as a calling rather than just a job to earn a paycheck. These experienced and educated caregivers must be respected and celebrated. They stayed on the job during the recent pandemic when others chose to stay safely at home. They have built resident relationships and connections that have value beginning each day with a happy smile and a hearty “Hello! How are you doing today?”
Dedicated food servers and caregivers aren’t born with the talent and skill they need to be excellent at their work. They have learned through active participation in proper training like Kind Dining♥ provides because we also believe with our hearts that we educate people to do their chosen work with intention, and skill, setting goals, and equitable care for the deserving residents. Training is a continuous journey. There is always a better way to learn, a new understanding, or an old skill reworked for a smoother result.
Be♥ Kind Tip: Training is a continuous journey.
by Cindy Heilman | Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership, Resident Centered Dining Service, Retain Staff
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“While I stand in line to buy a cup of coffee at a ridiculous price to drink while I run errands, I wonder why I do these dumb things. I could easily have made a whole pot at home.”
This woman’s story came to me. “You may know that I work in an assisted living community for reasons of my own. The coffee I buy today tastes better than mine and my reason for choosing to work with residents who need daily help is that I care. It makes me feel like I am doing much more than working at a job. I look forward to going to work each day and set an intention to do a little extra more than expected. The residents I help aren’t always sweet little old ladies. When they are grouchy, I remind myself how difficult life is for them, when they struggle to get through the day and cannot manage it alone. I like to show a bit of compassion. It helps.”
“The wonderful training I had when I first began in this industry many years ago, instilled the work ethic to aim higher, and set goals that are minor to me, and the small extras I do are major to the residents I serve. We continue to have training brush-up sessions where I continue to learn new ways to freshen up long-time duties. I love my work and the expressions I see on the residents’ faces when I smile and say a hearty ‘Good Morning!’ or whatever my phrase of the day happens to be. They love it!”
It is essential that employees of long-term care and assisted living communities commit to equitable care for their residents as done in independent living communities. Their service delivery is vital to ensure a positive experience for the residents receiving care. Personal word of mouth is still the best promotion of a community to ensure higher occupancy.
Residents love to boast of the great care they are receiving when help is needed to get through the day. It reassures family and friends that they chose the right community. The resident’s response is the result of respect, dignity, and kindness received regardless of race, religion, or gender.
Policies and regulations must be discussed at scheduled meetings with all employees, including administration. The active response must be invited from the employees who have hands-on contact with residents.
Invest in and empower those employees allowing them to be part of the solutions. Stress the strength of being a team player. Kindness and respect are embedded in the Kind Dining♥ curriculum and training sessions.
We believe in the power of your skilled employees and the results that proper training brings to a company and the community.
Service without training involves many avoidable errors and causes poor experiences not forgotten. Proper training provides your service team with skills and the ability to create positive responses from your residents that they will remember when speaking about their time within your long-term care or assisted living community. Kind Dining♥ provides that training.
Be♥ Kind Tip: Scheduled discussions and training sessions create a powerfully skilled team!
by Cindy Heilman | Attract Residents, Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership
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It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Carol, Little Women, and Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer are a few from a long list of stories of Christmas where kindness wins the day. Winter Holidays, no matter which one you celebrate, are a time for generosity, thoughtfulness, and kindness . The holiday season can be exceptionally difficult for older adults spending their first year in an independent living or assisted living community. They have chosen your community to call home but may be missing many of their family and friends lost in the recent pandemic. They may be yearning for past, happy memories and traditions that will never be experienced by them in the same way again.
This holiday season is a time for your food serving team to go the extra mile to fill in those lonely, melancholy moments. While they have been practicing their social skills with residents, now is a good time to ask about those memories and traditions. Holidays are all about food. Gathering around the warmth of a dining table to share those foods that were special to their memories is still a way to bring happiness to your residents. It’s also perfect timing for serving particular foods that were enjoyed. Food servers can gain and carry the information and recipes back to the chef to include them on the menu.
In conversation, food servers can also encourage their residents to expand their sense of culture and start new traditions by tasting the Christmas specialties of friends they have met. Perhaps your food serving team can suggest sharing traditions of others such as watch a holiday movie, enjoy a sing-along, start a story meeting where each person tells their stories of Christmases past. The key is for your food serving team to have compassion with residents, to understand they may be suffering silently. Asking a person to tell her/his story is an easy way to start a chit chat. Perhaps Christmas themed aprons can be worn by your food servers to spread the jolly Christmas spirit.
Kind Dining® training curriculum leads the way for your food serving team to create great relationships with those they serve while building their own skills and self-confidence. It’s easier to love your job when you know you are good at what you do, that you bring holiday cheer along with the meals you serve. It is a proven turnkey curriculum for communities that realize resident-centered care is a priority that benefits the company. Kind Dining® coaching is designed uniquely for staff who, directly or indirectly, serve meals. The interactive courses inspire your serving teams to weave hospitality with healthcare, to converse with residents, and to care.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: The holiday season is a time for your food serving team to go the extra mile.
by Cindy Heilman | Attract Residents, Build Communities of Belonging, Leadership
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Close your eyes, think of the Winter Holidays coming up, and what do you see?
Perhaps a Christmas tree in the background, hear Christmas carols being sung, but you ‘see’ family and friends gathered around a festive dinner table, no matter which holiday you celebrate. It’s the table that holds the warmth, celebration, camaraderie, and feelings of joy!
It’s about some foods that are only made on certain holidays. It’s the food that reminds you of past Christmases and loved ones of long ago.
Wonderful memories abound! It is a goal for Independent and Assisted Living Communities to recreate some of those treasured moments for their residents. It is in the power of your food serving team to help recall those memories and replace lonely reflections with the joys of today including newly found friends in your community.
The chit-chat your food servers initiate can result in favored recipes shared and specialty traditions being passed along to the chef for planning mealtime events.
Small, casual verbal connections between the food server and resident can result in making holidays happy replacing any feelings of the blues commonly experienced during this period of celebration.
These are vital skills taught in the Kind Dining® training curriculum that bring about important results that will linger in the minds of those on the receiving end. Resultant mealtimes are your company’s best asset and your mealtime servers have the power to make mealtimes memorable. Holidays are times when your food serving teams shine their brightest when feelings are tender, and when merriment is present in décor, attitudes, and at the table.
Setting higher standards in dining practices is a positive attainment. How your team performs at mealtimes and any time food and beverage is served, matters.
Kind Dining ® continually updates training to reflect the needs of food serving teams as traditional service changes to include new rules, regulations and suggestions that keep residents healthy and safe.
Hospitality and healthcare are still wedded together.
Kindness has always been a core belief in the Kind Dining® curriculum. New challenges in Senior Care Communities show committed food servers learning how to combine hospitality with healthcare using kindness, compassion, and competence as skills learned and practiced daily.
Our training sessions are experiential. We engage trainees by using action, reflection, application, and performance. Servers build empathy to respect the aging process by using kindness to connect with residents on a one-to-one basis. We teach personal and professional skills that improve the lives of your residents while improving the lives of those who serve them.
Be ♥ Kind Tip: Does your employee training include compassion and care?
by Cindy Heilman | Attract Residents
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Once the experience of moving into an Independent Living Community happens, the older person has found a place to belong, enjoy, and begin a new chapter in life. There comes a time to let younger families take care of house maintenance, repairs, and household responsibilities. It’s time for the elder of the family to step into the hustling, bustling center full of new friendships to form fresh opportunities and join in the day’s events.
Today’s independent and assisted living communities are designed to enhance people’s quality of life. A place where they happily belong. A typical day begins when the person chooses whether to sleep in or meet the ‘pre-breakfast club’ for coffee in the dining room, where they meet daily at the same table. There is always room for a “newbie.” Afterward, some will stay for breakfast, and some will go to their rooms. The person serving the meal is a member of the food serving team and greets everyone with a smile. She knows who takes cream and sugar in their coffee and who drinks only tea while greeting each one by name. The group will discuss last night’s events and plans for the coming day.
The residents realize that the server also belongs to this group because she loves her work, the community, and the company that hired and trained her. They invested in her by teaching them the skills needed to be an educated, competent, and a caring food-serving team member. She is a young woman who plans to remain with this community. She feels confident that she belongs here.
Kind Dining♥ curriculum coaches your staff in the skills necessary to connect personally with the residents they serve. These connections will reverse any feelings of loneliness left from the recent pandemic and create the confidence of belonging in your community. The easiest and most logical place to begin this is with meal times. It may take practice and reminders for your food-serving team to know personal connections are more important than a task waiting to be completed. Encourage your team to understand empathy and the aging process and how it affects older adults, to add kindness to their list of skills along with the basics of serving meals and beverages. Continue their lessons, practices, and discussions while instructing methods to show you care. The more knowledgeable your food serving team is, the more the company can depend on them to love coming to work daily.
Be♥ Kind: Social skills when serving meals are more important than the basics.