by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
Maybe when you are unhappy it is better to go out for a walk instead of feeding your unhappiness with a plate of pie a la mode. In a study conducted at Iowa State University, students were directed to walk around campus for 12 minutes and practice one of three different techniques to lower anxiety. The first set (loving-kindness) was to look at people and think sincerely “I wish for this person to be happy.” The second group (inter-connectedness) was to look at each person they saw and wonder if they might have something in common. The third group (downward social comparison) was to think if they were better off than those they met.
Results showed that offering kindness to others gave the student extending well-wishes higher feelings of caring, happiness, empathy, and lowered anxiety. The second group resulted only in effects of beneficial social connection. The third group had no beneficial effects.
Think of happiness filling your community dining room when your serving team extends positive thoughts of wellness to each person they meet. Anxiety and stress between food servers would be replaced with laughter and joy. New residents would be greeted graciously and invited to sit with those who are already comfortable in the dining room. Food servers would naturally and automatically help their coworkers without waiting to be asked, when help was needed. When people are happy they open up, inviting conversations that find solutions on how best to decrease conflicts with caregivers that resist the new mode of adding serving meals to their responsibilities. This leans toward all food serving staff working as a team to create a happier environment for the residents. It’s all about kindness to each person you meet in your working day.
If your community has similar needs in learning how to have all your food servers happy and working together as a team, Kind Dining® can help. Kindness and all it entails is at the heart of Kind Dining® training. Opening conversations can help a colleague with poor work habits learn how to improve them with confidence instead of criticism. Food servers who have insecurity problems due to less experience or lack of good training will learn easier and happily with good leadership showing the way with positive encouragement. Silence and holding insecurities for fear of losing your job only creates more problems. Replacing unhappy employees who do not perform their work as expected are costly and time consuming to replace. The company benefits overall with a well-trained food serving team.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Remember your vision to build stronger mealtime relationships.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
Communication is the glue that holds people together creating better working environments that create happier atmospheres for residents. Kind conversations are the handiest way to have communications between co workers. Food servers are the leaders in moving forward toward complying with new regulations. When food servers extend a helping hand and kind comments to their coworkers, especially those who are new to serving food such as caregivers, they are cementing working relationships that matter. To have a community operating at peak performance you must have all hands on deck; everyone working for the benefit of all. That includes all employees and all residents.
Silence festers. When there is a problem that needs to be addressed or a problem coworker that needs to be confronted (and who likes confrontation?) it can only be corrected if the problem is brought out into the open and talked about. Talking about it means positively, together, as a team with kindness and courtesy. All spoken opinions and ideas count but must be presented without emotions, only with reason, rationale and kindness. If your community has issues that need to be resolved and no one seems to know how to do that, Kind Dining® can help. It’s what they do best. Happy, smooth running communities don’t just happen. Training, making not only physical habits change, but how food servers think is the path to a happy community. Happy dining rooms have food servers who take pride in their work, come to work smiling and are delighted to be in your community. They offer that comment that will help a coworker, a cheery ‘hello’ to every resident who enters her domain because she is sincerely glad to see them . . . and says so.
It’s just as important for cheerfulness to float in the air of your dining room as it is for the delicious aroma wafting out from the food being served. It’s just as important for the smiles to be cast around freely as it is to assist your teammate who came to work with the world dragging her shoulders down. It’s just as important to leave the pantry full for the next shift as it is to find the pantry ready for your own shift.
Your residents may be the most important people in the dining room but unless your food servers, and that includes those in the kitchen that you may not see, are an uplifting, positive-attitude-minded team, you won’t have happy residents. Emotions and attitudes overflow and touch everyone that happens to come into your personal space. And the space that drifts around you as you move is the result of a choice you make.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: We can all be leaders—we just have to be brave enough to make positive changes.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
When Sally helped her mother select a long term community to continue her life after selling her home, she felt it was time for a change in her own life too. She left her job on cruise ships to working in her mother’s community, primarily in the dining room. Even though she was the ‘new kid on the block’ she quickly became a leader. The skills she had learned serving people who demanded the best service now came easily and naturally to her. Her coworkers noticed how the residents looked for her and the joy she brought into the dining room when she entered it. She nearly glowed! It wasn’t long before they asked her for her secrets. She was happy to share her thoughts about the training she had accomplished.
Hiring Sally was a benefit for the community because their food serving staff badly needed training to bring them up to the new tightening standards required by Federal regulations. The future is here and the spotlight in today’s retirement communities is on the dining room with food being the catalyst. Fortunately for communities who do not have a Sally, Kind Dining® is passionate about training your food servers and caregivers so your dining room may achieve higher customer satisfaction ratings. When meal servers are smarter about their job they find solutions to solve problems that arise in an unexpected instant.
Many poor habits of food servers can be corrected with immediate results. Other poor habits need the practice of working together led by masterful administrators who believe and take ownership which catapult their dining room team passed the fear of change to become successful. Culture change is here to the betterment of all, residents and employees alike. Good training inspires your meal servers to share the same vision for the happy, well-run dining room. Included in the meal serving team is the chef who oversees the plans and preparation of meals. It is the ultimate compliment for the chef to leave the kitchen to visit the residents in the dining room; to interact with those who enjoy the results of a caring and wise chef.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Remember, your food serving team has the power to raise resident satisfaction to the highest level!
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
Rebecca thinks back to ten years ago when she suffered a stroke at 52 years of age and wound up in a short term Rehab facility. In the beginning meals were brought to her room. There was a noticeable difference in the attitude of who delivered her meals. One gal plopped her meal down with a “Here’s your lunch Dearie” and hurried out of the room to get the rest of her job done. Rebecca became furious and grossly disappointed when the sugar was missing for her coffee. By the time the tray was picked up, her coffee was too cold to enjoy now that she could ask for the missing sugar. Annoyance set in when the food server remarked gruffly that she should have asked for it earlier. Well the mind doesn’t think as fast when you’re having difficulty just getting through the day filled with therapy and learning to live in a new way.
The CNA she remembered most fondly also brought her meals, wearing a pleasant smile, sharing an uplifting comment and asked if there was anything else needed. After she delivered another meal or two, she poked her head back into the room for just a second, to ask again, “Did you get everything you needed?” Thinking ahead, she carried extra condiments with her for such occasions when the resident needed them while the food was still hot and items had been left off the tray. Taking the time to know the resident she was serving, the CNA also informed Rebecca that she could order a rocker knife that would make cutting her food much easier. This was a small item that made a tremendous difference at mealtime and no one had told her that such an item existed.
Before her stroke Rebecca taught Occupational Therapy to college students. The stroke taught her that much helpful information was missing from the material she taught and made note of it even though she was not capable of teaching at her college again. Arriving home, she wrote and published a book that would be informative to the patient and even more importantly to show the family their role in recovery. She also noted the difference of attitude in the food servers and how it affected her.
She wrote letters on her computer thanking each individual at the Rehab facility who extended kindness and help to her explaining exactly how they impressed her. She wrote a letter of commendation about each of the staff including the food servers who had performed above average service.
When attitude is changed from just doing your job to get through the day, to loving what you do at work by using kindness and thoughtfulness that improves a resident’s stay, improves your life. Kind Dining® benefits everyone who learns it.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Practice showing extra courtesy today.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
Joe couldn’t wait to go into the world as a young man looking for the adventures that would never come to him in the small mid-western town where he grew up. He traveled the world working on cruise ships, survived his adventures, and never did return to his hometown. Now he was of an age where he wanted to find a retirement community. The contentment of place his parents seemed to have in his childhood home was what he was looking for. Joe set out to find that place to call home. Leaning on his travel experiences he knew he wanted a diverse community, to continue the diversity of people he had met over his years on ships.
He began joining friends for dinner in the communities where they lived and recommended. His livelihood depended on his friendly personality so he knew how critical the dining room performance was. To him this meant quality and variety of food, courteous service, ambiance, and the social skills of residents and staff. He was a professional, looking for the same quality of service he gave and now expected in return.
Joe would love and praise Kind Dining® trained food servers. Since he was good at his job, he appreciated others who loved and took pride in the work they did by presenting professional service. Not everyone has Joe’s same professional background to compare to the food servers in their community. But everyone does know when they are truly welcomed by staff into the dining room. Everyone appreciates being surrounded by courtesy and feels at home when food servers extend a kind word of consideration showing how much they really care.
Today is always the day to see if your dining room excels with the same service you would want to receive if you were in your resident’s seat at the table. It’s too easy to look the other way if any of your food servers are not up to the higher standards you want for your community. When guests leave your dining room, you want them to take away the best possible memory to share with others who may be looking for a warm, homelike community to move into. Is your community dining room outstanding? Are your food servers leaders always improving their service or could they use some Kind Dining® training?
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Remember, the service you give has the power to build community.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
A friend was reminiscing about her first job after leaving babysitting behind. It was working in a luncheonette which is a smallish neighborhood restaurant that serves home style cooking, the kind that brings comfort when you need it and even when you don’t. It was a temporary summer job that wound up forming a basis that she relied on throughout her life.
She said it was easy to love her customers by listening to their stories while serving breakfast and lunch. When some of the regulars didn’t show up on a particular day, she had to inquire why, reaffirming nothing was wrong in their lives. A bonding formed and they followed her life, staying in touch for several years after she left school. But the shift that came in to serve dinners loved her too. She was a good teammate to the wait staff even though she didn’t actually work with them.
They appreciated that when they came on shift, all the salt and pepper shakers, as well as the condiments had been filled. The pantry was restocked and in order. They never had to go hunting down an item they needed for their diners. Her station was always clean before she left and they never had to pick up after her. She even left the boss in a good mood.
Food servers in a community have a much larger picture to work in. Their dining room serves many more people from varied cultural backgrounds and sometimes with physical disabilities. But the teamwork effort works in the same way. When a shift is considerate of the food servers who come on next by refilling what needs to be refilled, by stocking the pantry, and tending to the little things that can make working a pleasure or, if not done, can create annoyance that builds discontent in the workplace. It’s wonderful to see food servers and food handlers helping each other during mealtimes, but it also makes a tremendous difference when the shifts of food servers respect the ones who come to work next. It’s communication without words. It’s the teamwork that Kind Dining® demonstrates.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Setting higher standards in dining is a positive change; embrace it!
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
A friend told me she saw where a woman had left a bakery, smiling and happy with her warm bagel smeared with cream cheese and strawberry preserves, heading for the office. When she stopped at the curb to wait for the light to turn green, she saw him. Him being a man obviously homeless, looking hungry, and cold. She handed her desired breakfast over to him with a smile saying, “Please take it. It’s still warm.” He received it with a grateful look and a mumble she took to be a thank you. Another woman who had been in line behind her at the bakery saw the whole performance; said to the stranger, “Here, take half of mine. I ordered the same thing you did and you deserve it.” She tore her bagel in half, handed it over, and everyone left the scene happy.
That’s the way kindness works. When you extend a kindness to someone, it always comes back to you in one way or another. The community dining room is the perfect place to practice kindness. Watch how it flows through the team you work with on a daily basis. Kindness is always demanded from food servers in reference to the seniors in your community. That’s easily understood, but it’s kindness toward your coworkers that makes life flow like water lilies on a pond. Build relationships with your coworkers one meal at a time. Start a conversation that will pass along to other food servers like a chain reaction, including everyone to participate. A few words that may even include a reaction with the seniors you’re serving. Communication is a wonderful gate that opens the way to understanding, building trust, and learning to enjoy the work you do.
Kind Dining® believes in these concepts and can train your food serving team as a way to improve the lives of everyone in your dining room. What could be better for the community than that? Finding happiness through practicing kindness has been proven. The best part is that your food serving team can be taught how to be kind and be happy because of it.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Remember, the service your food servers give has the power to build community.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
The story came to me about two brothers looking for a retirement living community for their elderly mother. They knew their mom was a modern thinking woman. They also knew that age would catch up to her in time and wanted that aging to take place in a community that felt familiar and like home. The two men were partners in a business they stepped into when young and inherited from their father when he passed away many years ago. Drawing on their own experiences learned over the years, they looked for a few particular items in their search for Mom’s new home.
One item they felt was important was the long term employee record. They were firm believers that employees who were happy did not look elsewhere for work. These same employees knew their job inside and out, took pride in knowing the business, the goals and they wanted to be part of the success of that business. Serious problems didn’t happen because the employees could spot a potential difficulty and avoid it. Accidents were non-existent for the same reason. The brothers agreed that’s what they wanted for Mom. A community with those same types of coworkers who Mom would come to know, rely on, and recognize when her memory or physical health did begin to fail. They did not want strangers at their mother’s elbow but people they trusted to care for her when they couldn’t be there.
The most obvious area in the community to notice teamwork, of those who have trained to work together, love what they do, who they work with, and the residents who they serve, is the dining room. This was the target area after talking with all the care-givers they met while they roamed the premises. Next they settled in the dining room to taste the food served and take notice of the skill of the food servers. More importantly, the brothers watched the interaction of the food servers with each other, with the residents and guests, too. When they found a community they felt comfortable, where the employees were at ease while doing their job, and took time to welcome visitors, they knew they had found a place they could trust to take care of Mom. Kind Dining® believes in the same principles. It’s what I have learned throughout my career and it’s what I teach.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Food servers can be taught to enjoy their work.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
Football coaches such as Vince Lombardi become legends by bringing their team to be top winners over and over again. At the beginning of training season he would traditionally hold up a pigskin and say, “Gentlemen, this is a football” in front of the rookies and seasoned players as well. He was a man who followed up his speech with rigid drills and stressed the value of practice. He stood behind his speech with action and favorable results.
Senior care communities can benefit from following the proven habits of Vince Lombardi, minus the football. Kind Dining® offers the training that can make your company a top winning community when your food servers, newbies, part-timers, and veterans alike, are taught the standards of service with hospitality at its heart. Once they become knowledgeable about proper serving techniques, the benefits of teamwork, the rewards of good manners, and they practice, practice, practice, they will appreciate the training that has made their jobs in the dining room easier and joyful.
When mealtime service seems effortless and runs smoothly without errors or accidents, you know your team has learned their lessons well. As your food servers take working as a team in their stride they will demonstrate positive attitudes and build confidence. Teammates help each other. When one food server develops a problem; another takes her part. When this happens a tighter bond is created and service flows.
Vince Lombardi became the legend, still remembered and referred to 50 years later because his Green Bay Packers team won five National Football League Championships and two Super Bowls. His skills are still admired and repeated by other coaches. Residents value hospitality through high standards of service at mealtime. Your community dining room can achieve a top notch designation and reap the benefits for your residents and wait staff by applying his values.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Remember that improvement is an ongoing process.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
Linda’s mother Anna moved from her retirement community after living there for only a year. “I never really felt at home there.” She said. “This new community that Linda found made me feel like they were truly happy to have me here. I’m greeted in the dining room with a smile, a how-are-you-settling-in-so-far? The food servers recognized my being new, right from the beginning, making me feel like they noticed I was there and they cared. The hostess seated me at a table of singles who welcomed me as a friend! I fit right in and was no longer a stranger after the first day. Funny, I never did feel like I belonged in the community that I left.”
Anna remarked that sharing mealtimes with like-minded people who had lively discussions was important to her. It was a time of day she enjoyed when raising a family and she missed that after her husband passed away. She also noticed the camaraderie of the food servers with each other and with the other residents creating a family-like situation. “It was like wrapping myself in my grandmother’s quilt, warm and comfortable. I feel like I am starting a whole new life.”
Personalizing service in the dining room builds trust and respect between the food servers and the residents. If a problem came up with any of the residents the food servers would notice right away because they were attuned to that relationship. Anna noticed immediately that her quality of daily life had improved immensely when she chose to change her residence. She also commented on how the ambiance in the dining room was meaningful to her and it was the spark that began her enjoyment in her new residence.
The food servers were quick to learn in their training session how new techniques in their service would benefit all, including themselves. Kind Dining® has a core belief that teaching people to become life-long learners is elemental to a successful community. The basics of good manners and social skills are the foundation of good service. To quote Lady Mary W. Montague, “Civility costs nothing, and buys everything.”
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Practice showing extra courtesy in the dining room today.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
A friend told me about Claire, a college student who was hired as a food server in a nearby assisted living community for the summer months. She said she had worked with serving food when she was hired but it wasn’t very long before her nervousness caused her to spill a bowl of soup in the dining room during a busy lunch time. Claire was horrified! She needed this job and was committed to the work. She confessed that her service was in an ice cream shop with no training such as was necessary in a community dining room. Her short time on the job showed her to be punctual, clean, neat, busy, and pleasant with the residents and other staff. Certainly she was worthy of some training time.
Mary, one of the other food servers told her to stay after her shift and she would give her some insights. Claire was grateful, became one of the best part-time workers returning each summer and worked all the holiday seasons between college terms. Her experience with Mary created a bond where she could be called to come in to cover for last minute situations. Claire was such a natural at her work that she switched her goal of teaching to a Nutritional Science degree with an aim of working in the field of Gerontology.
Since Mary received good training, she showed empathy and had the confidence to share her knowledge to help Claire out instead of feeling superior. She ultimately became a major influence in her life. They not only worked together but became life-long friends. Just as important, Claire became a team player that could be depended on and was well-liked by the senior residents for her youthful cheerfulness. Claire found a career path she loved and a staff member exhibited the result of good training and a positive attitude. Mary demonstrated the company’s values. Kind Dining® teaches how a company’s values communicate clear direction and shapes the behavior of their food servers and their staff.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Close gaps with your coworkers to create good working relationships and foster teamwork. .
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
A friend’s mother-in-law, Minnie, decided on retirement living a year after her husband passed away. On her first visit to the dining room she spotted one of those don’t even think about sitting here looks from a snooty looking woman where one chair was vacant at her table. Minnie was not upset or perplexed at all. She had been employed at a particular university for years and recognized the gesture of hierarchy that she had often seen there. She moved on to a completely empty table and allowed others to join her, the new woman in the dining room.
One of the food servers had noticed the interaction while she was servicing a table. She came directly to Minnie to apologize for the poor behavior shown to her on her first time in the dining room. A second server joined them. “Thanks,” she said to her coworker. “I saw that, too but couldn’t get here sooner, either. I also apologize. Please don’t judge all our residents by the rude one. And welcome. We are happy to see you in our community.”
While Minnie was a self-confident woman she appreciated the alertness of the food servers, their thoughtfulness in extending a welcome to her, and the hospitality she received from them. To her, it showed the community was committed to a person-oriented policy. She was reassured that she had chosen the right community for her as she began to rebuild a new life for herself.
She later stopped in to the office and spoke to the Vice-President complimenting him on the reaction of his food servers. He thanked her and promised that he would pass the compliment on to those who earned it, letting all the servers know how much their consideration is appreciated. He rather glowed knowing how good training paid for itself.
Kind Dining® training for your staff will reaffirm employees of the company values and how it shapes their behavior. The strong, complex working relationship between food servers will reflect their expertise in social skills and etiquette. It is the food servers who create the ambiance of the dining room, extending a welcome to make a resident feel as comfortable as being at home. That is exactly what the community dining room is to its residents . . . home.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Stop. Look. Listen. Know the complexity of good food service.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
If you’re not moving forward you’re moving backwards. Many changes are taking place in the community of today. Over thirty years ago when I began my career in healthcare food service, I entered the field at the lower end. I recall feeling the sting of being unappreciated for the work that I did. Was I wasting my time, just clocking in and clocking out? I felt as though I was not making a significant impact on anyone, even myself. It was a normal day for nursing homes to have a clinical and sterile dining room where therapeutic diets, calories, and efficiency were the main goals. I believed residents were negatively affected by this attitude. It really struck a chord with me. I wanted to do more even though it wasn’t my job.
I observed the residents and staff interaction. I paid particular attention to their behaviors. I listened. Servers would tell me of their struggles. Residents told me what they expected and did not get. I asked questions about how the system worked and why it worked that way.
Previously I owned restaurants in Alaska. I had the opportunity to cook and to serve my customers. My friendly interaction in a quality atmosphere created an enjoyable dining experience that my customers appreciated so much that they returned. Often. Having that experience in my pocket made me ask myself why we don’t treat and serve our seniors to the same dining standard? How many people enjoy eating in a hospital?
Restaurant managers do a little bit of everything. (This also keeps them knowledgeable about everyone’s responsibilities.) I remember the day I cooked a meal shift and ran to the dining room to see how my customers liked it. This was not a common practice at the time. But I wanted to know their reaction to my efforts. When I did this for the residents in my community they responded to my interest in their opinions. I could see the change in them because, along with nutritional benefits, someone who cooked for them also truly cared! I knew at that moment that it was just a matter of time before the momentum in the dining room would swing a different way.
A light bulb went off in my brain (and my heart). I found my purpose in life! A seed within me. I made a promise to myself that when the time came I would create a hospitality training program that would focus on the dining environment in senior living communities. I aimed at improving staff relationships and residents’ lives. Kind Dining® was born in that moment! It continues to be my joy, helping others wherever they are in the structural hierarchy, to find joy in what they do, to know how much they are appreciated and how important they are to the entire community.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: You are important to your community; How you serve meals MATTERS!
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
A friend told me about an acquaintance of hers who was widowed unexpectedly. Her husband had not been ill or shown any sign of the heart seizure that took his life. She was bereft. He took care of all the finances, maintenance of the house, and other responsibilities. She waited a period of time as her friends advised her to do, but had difficulty adjusting to single living. She did learn about paying the bills but was unhappy about the responsibility regarding the upkeep of the house, repairs, or anything else that related to making decisions or hiring craftsmen. After a year, the woman moved to a retirement community.
She didn’t hesitate to ask staff questions but hesitated about going into the dining room. She had not, ever, dined out alone. Her friends met her in restaurants for lunch before shopping and they invited her to their homes for dinner completely unaware of her dilemma. She didn’t cook, so she skipped mealtimes, sometimes eating a sandwich or take-out salad in her apartment. Finally, after discussing it with a staff member who encouraged her, she gathered enough resolution to go to the dining room for lunch. It was much easier than she expected.
A smiling hostess greeted her at the door, recognized her as a newcomer, and led her to a table set for five. It already had three people seated. The hostess introduced her as she pulled out the chair for her. She immediately sensed this caring gesture, nervously smiled at those seated, and waited for them to start a conversation. Which they did making for a pleasant, first-time outing to lunch in the community dining room. All went smoothly after that initial step that was made so much easier by an alert, enlightened hostess who anticipated a newcomer’s sensitivity. The hostess knew how she herself would feel in that woman’s situation. She used the basic message of the Golden Rule and gave service that she would want if their places were reversed.
Her friend found the staff member the next day, related her experience and thanked her for the encouragement she gave. The hostess found the same staff member and thanked her also, recognizing the important role she played in sending the new resident to the dining room. It’s another example of an enlightened teamwork in action.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: You and your staff have an important role to play in helping residents overcome loneliness, isolation, and building a sense of belonging.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
Walk into many elementary school buildings these days and you’ll notice posters and banners advocating being a friend not a bully. It is best and easiest to change negative attitudes early in life, opening the minds of children to show kindness and friendliness. Children’s books are directed to guide them toward these same goals. But what do you do with those of a certain age who behave poorly, when they are living in retirement communities?
The dining room is the most important room in the community for friendliness. At its best, your elders will feel like they are coming into the warmth of their own dining room to share a mealtime with their own friends and guests. The hostess for any fancy gala greets each person as if they were a personal friend, even when she never met them before. She makes them feel wanted, comfortable, letting them know she is delighted that they are present. This is a learned effort that can be applied to training your food servers to have that same quality and attitude. When practiced it will come naturally and benefit every person in the dining room. This means other food servers, kitchen assistants who happen to wander in, staff who clean up afterward, and especially every resident who enters through the doors.
The best servers eye every table to be certain it is set properly. They take a second to pull a chair out for an elder. They watch each resident with gentleness, stepping in to redirect any sense of trouble arising at a table. She will recognize and call residents (and other staff) by name with a smile that tells everyone she is happy to be serving this group. The best part is that she means it!
She will notice when a person enters the dining room for the first time and guide her to a compatible table for her to sit at. She knows this because she is familiar with each face in the dining room. If this doesn’t sound possible, it is with Kind Dining® training. When servers automatically know what to do, how to do it, and when to do it; their minds are free to be pleasant, watchful, and helpful. When the stress of not knowing her responsibilities is removed, your food servers can move forward.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Remember, in a room full of people, even a newcomer doesn’t need to feel alone.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
A friend of mine told me of a conversation she had recently. She asked her friend what it is about her job that makes her love going to work. The friend replied, “My coworkers are happy to see me and greet me with a hearty Good Morning! What a great way to begin my work day! I know who I am, that I’m important to my company and help to make it successful. I handle my responsibilities with ease and have the confidence that I handle them well. My boss praises me sincerely and I’ve formed friendships. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have off-days. It does mean that when I need help it is offered with a smile and a thought that we all have days that go off.”
She continued, “It’s exciting when a new challenge comes up because the company gives us the training we need to learn what to do and how to do it best. I interact with the public and have met delightful people and learned how to enlighten someone who walks under a dark cloud. It’s an effort sometimes, but I always benefit from helping someone else. It’s amazing how that works.”
My friend thought for certain she had attended one of my training sessions because these are the goals of Kind Dining®. The value of training your food servers, encouraging them in teamwork, and learning to love the job they do is vital to their living a happy life and creating happiness everywhere they go. It is most important for food servers because the dining room is the heart of day for residents. It is more than just eating a meal. They look forward to socializing with other residents and when you have cheerful, caring servers, they look forward to seeing them, too. So it is also vital for your residents who will bask in the same glow as your servers. Ask your residents what makes their mealtimes so pleasant and ask your servers if they are happy to come to work in your community.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Remember, you are unique, valuable and worthy of respect, but proceed humbly.
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do. A friend saw this sign hanging in a winter garden and knowing how I champion the word and the act of being kind, emailed me immediately. After a generation or two of Me First, Kindness is coming back in style! It has always been important, if forgotten by some, but now is perfect timing to fit the seniors who are entering retired living communities. Their generation (baby boomers) was raised with using good manners and kindness. They expect, no, demand to have their opinions considered in their care. Of course, present residents will also be delighted with the change toward kindness in attitude from everyone at work if it isn’t already there.
The phrases in senior communities of culture change in dining and person-directed care has been a hot topic lately. Culture change begins by using kindness and encompasses placing value, dignity, and respect on older adults. National and public policy symposiums signal a focus on the connection between dining satisfaction of residents and the quality of life within their community. These changes in policy will enable elders to make decisions every day that relate to their normal daily patterns that make their life comfortable. Staff will be required to rework their routines around the habits and desires of the elders.
Kind Dining® training was created with this exact purpose in mind when I noticed this great need in senior communities over the years that I’ve worked in the field. I became determined to bring attention to and to provide the training needed. Surprisingly the end cost to the company in making the necessary changes is only slightly above what they are paying now. They will benefit much more from the improvements also. To make a smooth transition in understanding these new policies and how to encourage staff to want to enlighten themselves takes professional and experienced training. That’s where Kind Dining® steps up to the plate.
Our B♥ Kind® Tip: Is there a new resident in your dining room today? Make an effort to get to know them
by Cindy Heilman | Leadership
My friend said that when she was growing up she was exposed to other ethnicities, especially at the dining room table and especially during the Christmas holiday season. I appreciate her sharing her experience and carry that image when I conduct my Kind Dining® training. It’s that hospitality I would love to see in every community and again, especially during the holiday season. I have mentioned that sharing stories of their youthful holidays is a good conversation opener between servers and elders and for making friends at the table. It is even more important for the staff to listen and carry those ideas to the kitchen and to the administration, allowing them to incorporate other traditions into the daily dining experience. Elders will be pleased when they recognize the influence of the stories they told.
Involving your staff in this way will allow your chef to utilize ideas and suggestions coming from within the community with new ideas to excite your residents. Your serving teams are in direct contact with elders who will love to be involved by sharing their memories and suggestions. It will convey to your residents that they are helping to create a family-comfortable ambiance, especially for those who have no family to come visit them. It will also convey that they are an important part of the community. The manager in charge of decorating the dining room, social, and common areas can include residents in the same fashion, extending the invitation to include them by asking for ideas. Who doesn’t have a story about decorating a Christmas tree, Kwanzaa, or Hanukkah table? Communication is the key factor in planning an exceptional holiday for your elders and their guests. To see and taste holiday customs that are familiar to them and some that are not, making them feel more at home than ever.
Maybe when you are unhappy it is better to go out for a walk instead of feeding your unhappiness with a plate of pie a la mode. In a study conducted at Iowa State University, students were directed to walk around campus for 12 minutes and practice one of three different techniques to lower anxiety. The first set (loving-kindness) was to look at people and think sincerely “I wish for this person to be happy.” The second group (inter-connectedness) was to look at each person they saw and wonder if they might have something in common. The third group (downward social comparison) was to think if they were better off than those they met.
Communication is the glue that holds people together creating better working environments that create happier atmospheres for residents. Kind conversations are the handiest way to have communications between co workers. Food servers are the leaders in moving forward toward complying with new regulations. When food servers extend a helping hand and kind comments to their coworkers, especially those who are new to serving food such as caregivers, they are cementing working relationships that matter. To have a community operating at peak performance you must have all hands on deck; everyone working for the benefit of all. That includes all employees and all residents.
When Sally helped her mother select a long term community to continue her life after selling her home, she felt it was time for a change in her own life too. She left her job on cruise ships to working in her mother’s community, primarily in the dining room. Even though she was the ‘new kid on the block’ she quickly became a leader. The skills she had learned serving people who demanded the best service now came easily and naturally to her. Her coworkers noticed how the residents looked for her and the joy she brought into the dining room when she entered it. She nearly glowed! It wasn’t long before they asked her for her secrets. She was happy to share her thoughts about the training she had accomplished.
Rebecca thinks back to ten years ago when she suffered a stroke at 52 years of age and wound up in a short term Rehab facility. In the beginning meals were brought to her room. There was a noticeable difference in the attitude of who delivered her meals. One gal plopped her meal down with a “Here’s your lunch Dearie” and hurried out of the room to get the rest of her job done. Rebecca became furious and grossly disappointed when the sugar was missing for her coffee. By the time the tray was picked up, her coffee was too cold to enjoy now that she could ask for the missing sugar. Annoyance set in when the food server remarked gruffly that she should have asked for it earlier. Well the mind doesn’t think as fast when you’re having difficulty just getting through the day filled with therapy and learning to live in a new way.
Joe couldn’t wait to go into the world as a young man looking for the adventures that would never come to him in the small mid-western town where he grew up. He traveled the world working on cruise ships, survived his adventures, and never did return to his hometown. Now he was of an age where he wanted to find a retirement community. The contentment of place his parents seemed to have in his childhood home was what he was looking for. Joe set out to find that place to call home. Leaning on his travel experiences he knew he wanted a diverse community, to continue the diversity of people he had met over his years on ships.
A friend was reminiscing about her first job after leaving babysitting behind. It was working in a luncheonette which is a smallish neighborhood restaurant that serves home style cooking, the kind that brings comfort when you need it and even when you don’t. It was a temporary summer job that wound up forming a basis that she relied on throughout her life.
A friend told me she saw where a woman had left a bakery, smiling and happy with her warm bagel smeared with cream cheese and strawberry preserves, heading for the office. When she stopped at the curb to wait for the light to turn green, she saw him. Him being a man obviously homeless, looking hungry, and cold. She handed her desired breakfast over to him with a smile saying, “Please take it. It’s still warm.” He received it with a grateful look and a mumble she took to be a thank you. Another woman who had been in line behind her at the bakery saw the whole performance; said to the stranger, “Here, take half of mine. I ordered the same thing you did and you deserve it.” She tore her bagel in half, handed it over, and everyone left the scene happy.
The story came to me about two brothers looking for a retirement living community for their elderly mother. They knew their mom was a modern thinking woman. They also knew that age would catch up to her in time and wanted that aging to take place in a community that felt familiar and like home. The two men were partners in a business they stepped into when young and inherited from their father when he passed away many years ago. Drawing on their own experiences learned over the years, they looked for a few particular items in their search for Mom’s new home.
Football coaches such as Vince Lombardi become legends by bringing their team to be top winners over and over again. At the beginning of training season he would traditionally hold up a pigskin and say, “Gentlemen, this is a football” in front of the rookies and seasoned players as well. He was a man who followed up his speech with rigid drills and stressed the value of practice. He stood behind his speech with action and favorable results.
Linda’s mother Anna moved from her retirement community after living there for only a year. “I never really felt at home there.” She said. “This new community that Linda found made me feel like they were truly happy to have me here. I’m greeted in the dining room with a smile, a how-are-you-settling-in-so-far? The food servers recognized my being new, right from the beginning, making me feel like they noticed I was there and they cared. The hostess seated me at a table of singles who welcomed me as a friend! I fit right in and was no longer a stranger after the first day. Funny, I never did feel like I belonged in the community that I left.”
Mary, one of the other food servers told her to stay after her shift and she would give her some insights. Claire was grateful, became one of the best part-time workers returning each summer and worked all the holiday seasons between college terms. Her experience with Mary created a bond where she could be called to come in to cover for last minute situations. Claire was such a natural at her work that she switched her goal of teaching to a Nutritional Science degree with an aim of working in the field of Gerontology.
A friend’s mother-in-law, Minnie, decided on retirement living a year after her husband passed away. On her first visit to the dining room she spotted one of those don’t even think about sitting here looks from a snooty looking woman where one chair was vacant at her table. Minnie was not upset or perplexed at all. She had been employed at a particular university for years and recognized the gesture of hierarchy that she had often seen there. She moved on to a completely empty table and allowed others to join her, the new woman in the dining room.
If you’re not moving forward you’re moving backwards. Many changes are taking place in the community of today. Over thirty years ago when I began my career in healthcare food service, I entered the field at the lower end. I recall feeling the sting of being unappreciated for the work that I did. Was I wasting my time, just clocking in and clocking out? I felt as though I was not making a significant impact on anyone, even myself. It was a normal day for nursing homes to have a clinical and sterile dining room where therapeutic diets, calories, and efficiency were the main goals. I believed residents were negatively affected by this attitude. It really struck a chord with me. I wanted to do more even though it wasn’t my job.
A friend told me about an acquaintance of hers who was widowed unexpectedly. Her husband had not been ill or shown any sign of the heart seizure that took his life. She was bereft. He took care of all the finances, maintenance of the house, and other responsibilities. She waited a period of time as her friends advised her to do, but had difficulty adjusting to single living. She did learn about paying the bills but was unhappy about the responsibility regarding the upkeep of the house, repairs, or anything else that related to making decisions or hiring craftsmen. After a year, the woman moved to a retirement community.
Walk into many elementary school buildings these days and you’ll notice posters and banners advocating being a friend not a bully. It is best and easiest to change negative attitudes early in life, opening the minds of children to show kindness and friendliness. Children’s books are directed to guide them toward these same goals. But what do you do with those of a certain age who behave poorly, when they are living in retirement communities?
A friend of mine told me of a conversation she had recently. She asked her friend what it is about her job that makes her love going to work. The friend replied, “My coworkers are happy to see me and greet me with a hearty Good Morning! What a great way to begin my work day! I know who I am, that I’m important to my company and help to make it successful. I handle my responsibilities with ease and have the confidence that I handle them well. My boss praises me sincerely and I’ve formed friendships. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have off-days. It does mean that when I need help it is offered with a smile and a thought that we all have days that go off.”
If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do. A friend saw this sign hanging in a winter garden and knowing how I champion the word and the act of being kind, emailed me immediately. After a generation or two of Me First, Kindness is coming back in style! It has always been important, if forgotten by some, but now is perfect timing to fit the seniors who are entering retired living communities. Their generation (baby boomers) was raised with using good manners and kindness. They expect, no, demand to have their opinions considered in their care. Of course, present residents will also be delighted with the change toward kindness in attitude from everyone at work if it isn’t already there.